I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
