U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
