My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
