no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
