I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
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Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
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I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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