is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
