omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
