i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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