So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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