You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
