Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
