Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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