you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
