my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize