Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
