A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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