big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
