My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize