i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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