PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
