I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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