you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
either way he was missing a nipple.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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