So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
