If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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