I cockslap morals
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
