did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Randomize
