I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
