I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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