If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
