Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
