I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
