i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
