Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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