Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
