Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize