My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
