i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
