Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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