suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
