im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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