god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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