DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
