And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize