Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
