We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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