fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
