so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
