Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
