Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
