I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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