I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
