Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
