At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
if only i could text you this smell
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think your dad took our porno
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
