He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize