There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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