you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
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Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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