You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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