I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
