Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
