The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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