Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
