Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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