you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
