it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
